Healing from a Broken Relationship
I read this wonderful article written on the (Beliefnet, 2017) because I have been suffering from a hurt broken heart and am seeking healing. As I was thinking about this hurt, I agreed with the fact that that relationships, come in a variety of forms for example, a parent and child or love between a husband and wife. However, the breakdown of relationships – seen across the ages and across the world – can cause unbearable devastation. Couples divorce, family members become estranged, siblings fight, and longtime friendships dissolve bitterly. God created man and woman in his image which is (Love) and the desire to have loving meaningful & lasting relationships. So, in order to nurture healthy relationships in the future, how does one obtain healing for a heart that has been broken by hurts from the past?
Because God is a God of relationship, our interaction with fellow believers (because God is in them, therefore it is “God Loving God”), is high on God’s list. If a fellow believer mistreats another believer they are mistreating (Jesus Christ (Yashua Hamachiah) who abides within the other believer. The scripture states in I John 4:20 “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
How does one heal from a broken heart? The answer (according to Beliefnet, 2017) is found in the book of James, which has been called the most practical book of the Bible.
- Surrender to the proper authority
According to (James 4:7) it states, “Submit yourselves to God, and Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” But the question is “How does a person submit to God?” one way is through constant prayer which is communication between you and God. The second way is by reading the scriptures, thirdly, by obeying His word.
- Confess and let go
James 4:8 says, “Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Take an honest assessment of your heart and what role you may have had in the demise of a certain relationship. First John 1:8-9 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” When you confess your sin to God and ask Him for forgiveness, you are able to forgive others and let go of resentment and bitterness you may be harboring within your heart. We are not to merely confess our sin, but we are to change and stop doing the sin. We are actually wasting our breath telling God sorry if we don’t change. We are still in a sin state, and there is a distance between us and God.
Whenever we are hurt, it is very tempting to complain to anyone who will listen about the person we feel has wronged us. James 4:11 admonishes us not to engage in this kind of slanderous speech. Jesus Christ suffered the cruelest injustice in all of history – His undeserved death on a Roman cross – but He did not protest or slander His accusers. Instead, He said, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). Let us follow Jesus’ humble example.
Give grace instead of judgment
When others fall short of your expectations, choose to show them grace, which is defined as mercy, favor, and pardon. Jesus showed you and I grace rather than judgment when He died to pay the penalty for our sins. He says in Matthew 7:1-2: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Trust the Lord to examine the heart and motives of those who may have hurt you, and leave all judgment to Him. You will find that letting go of this responsibility is tremendously liberating, and it will allow God to fully heal and restore your heart.